Hi.This is my first fic in four years,so I might be rusty.
Note*This fic takes place in high school,in the 11th grade.

South Park High School

English class.

Principal:Okay,kids,I want to make a sad announcement.Your old teacher,Mrs.Jones,was in a car crash the other day.

class is silent,except Pinkie.

Pinkie:Oh no!

Peaches:Cool.I hated her anyway.

Principal:Peaches!Anyway,I want to introduce your new tempoary teacher........

He comes in.


Principal:Mr.Herbert Garrison.And Mr.Slave,his assistant.


Mr.Garrison:Thank you,principal.

The principal leaves.

Mr.Garrison:So,Im back to teaching you little bastards.


Mr.Garrison:Dont ugghhh me,you little shits!Anyway,today Im going to teach you a very important lesson.Its how to keep a job.


Mr.Garrison:SHUT UP!Now,Im teaching this because I know that one day,all of you will be homless,jobless,pieces of crap.But if you listen to me,you will succeed.

peaches:Yeah right.

Mr.Garrison:Shut up,Peaches.Now,if you want to be a janitor,all you have to do is dress up as a Mexican guy and you will probably get the job.If you want to be a manager,just kill whoever the real manager is and steal his i.d.You will get the job.If you want to own the whole company,then take control of China,threaten the president of the company with nuclear missiles,forcing him to resign,and then rape him.And there,your president of the company.

Cartman raises his hand.


Cartman:Why do we have to rape him?

Mr.Garrison:Because I said so!

Stan raises his hand.


Stan:How the hell do we take over China?

Mr.Garrison:Figure it out,dumass.Now,the next lesson is how to build robotic monkeys that you can program to take over the world.......


Mr.Garrison:And thats why Friends was cancelled.Any questions?

Pinkie:What does this have to do with our education?

Wendy:Shut up,Pinkie Stinky!

Pinkie:Be quiet.


Mr.Garrison:Oh,good!A fight!

Stan:Get her,Wendy!


Wendy beats Pinkie up,until Peaches stops Wendy.

Mr.Garrison:Dammit!Why did you stop it,Peaches?!

Peaches:This is my sister,@#%$!!!

Mr.Garrison(mad):WHAT DID YOU CALL ME??


Mr.Garrison:YOU LITTLE.....!!!!!!!!

Peaches punches Mr.Garrison.He falls down,knocked out.


Peaches:@#%$.(She looks at Wendy)

Peaches:Now I beat your ass!


They fight.

The End.

So,how was it?Not so bad after being gone a few years.Hope you enjoyed it alot.